Tulsa doesn't change: People do
by Invited-Gatecrasher
Summary: Charlotte Curtis returns home a changed girl: but can her family accept how she is, and forget the past. Can she regain all the relationships she had? My first FanFic, be gentle! R&R PLEASE! FINALLY UPDATED I'VE BEEN RATHER PREOCCUPIED!
1. Coming home

As I stepped off the bus I knew Tulsa had not changed; the neon Pepsi sign still hung crookedly in the store across the road, the road was still uneven and dangerous. I zipped up my jacket as the November breeze hit me and headed in the direction of home, well my brothers' house anyway; I didn't know if I still had the privilege to call it home.

It's not really wise to walk around town on your lonesome in the dark (hell even in the daytime) but I hadn't told anyone I was coming back, because I never truly believed that I would. I braved the streets alone, walking in a dream like-state, breathing in the smell of the city, fascinated by the buildings I used to find so mundane. I paused outside Buck Merril's house and smiled: he was still having daily parties, and still listening to the likes of Hank Williams. I wondered how many people I would know in there, whether all the people I knew would have moved on. I doubted it, Tulsa doesn't change much.

It was only early evening but the weather and the travelling had made it feel much later. I was glad I made it to the waste ground without a hint of trouble but my stomach jolted, I could see the house, _my_ house ahead of me. The lights were on and I suddenly became very aware of what I was doing; I was returning home after a leave of four years. Four years of not talking to my brothers, four years of them not knowing if I were dead or alive, four years of them not knowing which they'd rather me to be. What if they didn't want me back, I had put them through hell there was no reason they'd want to see me again.

Realising I needed to gather my thoughts I walked the twenty or so yards to the waste ground and sat down. I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. That waste ground had been the backdrop to so much in my life; it was odd sitting in it as though I'd never been away. But I had been away, and a lot had changed in that time. I was now 19, confident, independent and more at ease. I grew up in every sense; I was level-headed and clever, my wit had sharpened and I'd stopped being so bratty. Physically I had become a woman; I had grown another inch or so even though we didn't think it possible since at 15 I was already taller than my mum, the hips that I had willed to come for so long had finally taken form, and the breasts that I had since an early age had softened. My hair was still the same as it ever was if not a bit more styled: it was still mid-length, a mid-brown shade and worn down. My green eyes no longer revealed a deep pit of depression.

I smoked the cigarette right to the butt and stubbed it out in the dirt. I was about to stand when I heard a voice: a voice I knew well but hadn't heard for sometime. It had deepened but it was still distinguishable as my baby brothers'. I peered over the fence to see him talking to another guy I did not know. But I knew my brother, he'd grown up too. He looked exactly how I'd pictured him; tall and broad shouldered like Darry, but kind in face like Soda. His hair was the same colour as my own and flopped around pointlessly. He looked really happy. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realised I couldn't even begin to comprehend how much I had missed out on; he'd grown up and I'd missed it. He passed me as I stood up, I followed about twenty yards behind him and began crying more and more, it got to the point where I could stand it any longer and spluttered, "Ponyboy!"

I wasn't sure I'd actually said it until he turned around. From that distance I could still make out his eyes widening, his mouth dropped and he stood in silence for what seemed an eternity. He approached slowly and I froze; he hated me, I could tell. When he was right in front of me I stood sobbing, it pained me to look at him but I could not turn away. For a moment I wondered if he was going to hit me but then I saw a single tear fall silently from his eye and then his right hand came up to brush my face.

"Charlie?" he whispered. "Is that really you? Are you really here?"

"I'm here baby, I'm here" I cried, staring intently into his now dripping eyes.

I flung my arms around him and squeezed him harder than I thought possible, he reciprocated with twice the force but I didn't care; being in my brothers arms once again was heaven, I never wanted to leave his embrace.

After what seemed ages we pulled apart. Ponyboy turned to the house that was less than 200 yards away, "Do they know you're here?"

"No, I was about to go in" I paused, "Do you all hate me, will they not want me back?"

"We don't hate you, we love you, Charlie! But where have you been? Where!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I always wanted to call, I always wanted to come back I just couldn't!" It was true; I always wanted to go back but I was too scared of reality. I left when our mum and dad died, I couldn't take it.

Ponyboy turned round; the guy he had been talking to had gone. "That was my friend Randy, we go to college together".

"You go to college?" I smiled, he always was the most intelligent of our family, and he deserved the chance to better himself.

"Yeah, just started. I'm gonna be a doctor".

"Oh Ponyboy!" I squealed, "That's fantastic!"

He smiled at me and I could tell how happy he was, it made me happy.

We both stared towards the house. He looked at me, "Right, time to face the music" he said as he grabbed my hand and led me towards the house.


	2. Reunions

Ponyboy led me up the knackered steps and gave me a reassuring smile as he opened the creaky screen door. "Guys?" Ponyboy spoke softly at a room full of people I couldn't see through the door. "Brace yourselves." He walked in pulling me behind him; I looked at the floor, tears blurring the worn patterned carpet.

"Charlie?" I heard a quivering voice I knew to be my brother Sodapop's; I looked up as he slowly got up from the sofa. I panned the room and saw other faces I thought I'd never see again; Steve, Two-Bit and Johnny sat gawping at me.

"Charlie!" Soda's yelp shook me from my daze and then I was in his arms. I could smell him as I listened to him sobbing, "Oh Charlotte! We didn't know where you were! Where were you, we looked for months and months. We looked everywhere, where were...?" He trailed of, unable to speak any more as he was crying too hard.

I mumbled sorry over and over into his shoulder until he held me at arms length, "Baby you've grown up, look at you, you're a woman. You're all grown up!"

I hadn't expected such a warm reception and it had taken me off guard. I dropped my bag and walked over to the couch, picking up a pack of cigarettes off the table. I lit one and sat, inhaling deeply.

"Still scrounging cancersticks of us!" Two-bit chuckled as he perched on the arm of the couch resting a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Two-bit, missed me?" I smiled.

"We all have" a quiet voice said. I looked right to see Johnny sitting in an armchair; I did a double-take – it wasn't an armchair, it was a wheelchair!

"Johnnycake! What happened?" I rushed over and crouched by his side.

"The majority of people in this room know what happened to Johnny, what the majority don't know is where you've been for four years." Soda stayed calm through the whole speech but his eyes were stormy; soppy reunions with the rest of the gang would have to wait - Soda wanted answers, he deserved them.

He sat where I had previously been sitting and after a fleeting smile of Johnny I sat at the other end of the couch, focusing intently on my cigarette. There was a long silence and all eyes were on me.

"I had to leave Soda," I couldn't look at him, "it was all too hard; I couldn't cope." Nobody said anything. "I just had to get away, I always meant to come back, but everyday it got harder!"

"Where've you been?" Ponyboy stopped the monologue.

"Worked my way east, spent the last three years living in New York."

"New York! No wonder we couldn't find you. We looked all around, no where in particular cos there were no leads." I could feel Soda's eyes on me though I was too scared to meet them. "Some of us thought you were dead: we'd lost mum and dad, it wasn't too hard to believe we could lose you too".

I was silent - too guilty to talk. I knew I'd put them through hell and it was callous of me to just walk back in, I wanted Sodapop to say this piece.

"And the funeral," Soda was crying now and Ponyboy sat to the left of him, a hand on his shoulder, "You _ruined _the funeral! We all waited for you, we were sure you'd come! Darry went back to the house to look for you and found your note. He didn't tell any of us about it until after. When he was supposed to be saying goodbye to our parents he was worrying about you!" I hadn't heard Sodapop so angry before, but it was less than I deserved.

"I'm sorry, but the funeral was too final for me, as was having to live in the house without them! I was too in denial to think of anything but escaping reality. I was too selfish to think of you and Darry and you'll never believe how sorry I am! It makes me sick to my stomach!" I had never meant to hurt them all. "Where is Darry?"

"At work", Pony said sadly.

"He's always at work" Soda groaned. I had expected it to be like that, Darry gallantly taking on the strain of the family. "He never went to college – couldn't afford to. I suppose thinking about it, it was better you not being here, financially at least" I could sense the anger in my brother's voice. He paused and then raised his voice, "So why are you back now? Why now when we've just gotten over everything? Is it convenient for you? Never mind how we feel! Do you want something, is that it? Money? A…."

"Soda!" Ponyboy stopped our brother's yells, "She won't stay if you carry on like this!"

"Yes I will, Ponyboy. I deserve worse than this and I think I'd like to hear it, if anything to make me feel less guilty and you feel less angry, and give us a chance to get things fixed. I'm back because as hard as it was for me to come back after I got over all my problems, it was unbearable not to be with you – my family".

We talked for hours; I was shocked to hear the trouble the socs had caused our gang – the softest of us all was now a murderer. A lot had gone on and Johnny was disabled but slowly regaining the use of his legs and it was hoped one day he'd walk again. He lived with my brothers now. I wasn't surprised to find that Two-bit, an utter lady's man had fathered a child, though it saddened me he showed little interest in his two year old daughter, Bianca. Steve was engaged to his long time girlfriend, Evie, and Ponyboy was two months into university and working very hard.

At 8 o'clock Ponyboy realised dinner needed to be made so I helped him, well I stood and watched him, I was too distracted to do anything. It seemed odd to stand so idly in the kitchen; the worst seemed to be over and it had been so simple. I looked through to the lounge; the boys were playing poker. It seemed exactly the same as it had always been except they looked older: Pony was 18, Johnny 20 and Steve and Soda were 21. Two-bit was 22.

"Glad to be back?" Ponyboy nudged me with a smile.

"Glory like you wouldn't believe!"

"Oh I can believe it alright – I'm just as thrilled!" he smiled and kissed me hand, "My big sister's back!"

"She should never have gone away!" Steve called from the other room.

I smiled wishing that were true, but going away had helped me and I couldn't have survived if I stayed in Tulsa, because Tulsa hadn't changed but so many other things had. Returning had been a lot easier than I had feared, but then there were two people I hadn't been reunited with yet, and these reunions were going to be the hardest of them all. I wondered when I would see my brother Darry, and Dallas Winston.


	3. Hunting Dally

Darry eventually came home and was shocked and angered by my return. He called me selfish and at one point contemplated not letting me stay. That was just before he broke down in tears and said he couldn't bear to lose me twice over, especially after losing so much family already. He was relieved I was okay; apparently he was sure I'd be dead, married to a bastard or on the game! That wasn't that surprising - in the four years these were all options I had considered.

Darry went to bed earlier than everyone else and did not show me any affection before he went upstairs. It upset me but I knew it would take a little longer to regain his trust. As I walked past his room to retire to my own I heard him sobbing and I instinctively knew they were tears of joy, not sadness.

"Baby, Charlotte baby." I was woken softly in the morning by the soft voice of my eldest brother who was rubbing my upper arm. In my drowsy state I could tell all was forgiven as far as he was concerned. "Hon, we're all going to work. There's some breakfast downstairs."

"Thanks." I grumbled tiredly as I struggled to open my eyes.

"What you gonna do today?"

"Dunno. I hadn't thought about it. I guess let Tulsa know I'm back!" I giggled, knowing full well most the town were gonna flip when the heard the news!

"Okay, well we'll be back late afternoon. You need any money?"

"No Darry, I don't" I said matter-of-factly. I really didn't like the idea of them thinking I was back because I needed money; I didn't.

Darry stood to leave, seemingly comforted by my independence. I thought of something I wanted to know, something that had been nagging at me since I climbed into bed, "Hey Darry, does Dally know I'm back?"

"No baby, we haven't seen him to tell him."

"Know where I can find him?"

"No, but you know Dally; he's always around somewhere."

"Do you think he'll be glad to see me? How is he?" I wondered if Dallas was still the guy I knew four years ago, I didn't know if I wanted him to have changed or not.

"He's okay." Darry paused. "And I reckon he'll be mighty glad to see you."

Darry left and I heard the others go with him in a blaze of noise. I got up and wondered through all the rooms in the house. Well, all but one: I wasn't ready to go into Mum and Dad's room yet. It felt so strange and yet so familiar being in the house. I showered and dressed after finding nothing but cake in the kitchen – I hoped this was not what Darry considered to be breakfast. I sat to watch TV when I heard the door open.

"Man it's gonna take a while to get use to seeing you back. I near forgot and was about to get excited all over again!" Two-bit threw himself onto the seat next to me. He's put weight on, I thought; must be from all the beer he drinks.

I turned sharply to face Two-bit dead-on, "How's Dally?"

"Dally's Dally" he said simply as though he work was done. This was frustratingly insufficient but kind of reassuring.

"How did he take me leaving, was he angry?"

Two-bit thought for a moment, "We all took it badly Charlotte. We were outta our minds with worry. And you know Dallas; anytime he's worried it comes out as anger…he was fuming".

"Does he miss me?"

"I reckon so. Though he'd never say it." I went to open my mouth again when Two-bit interrupted, "Lordy, what's with the full-on interrogation so early in the morning!"

"Hey I got a lot of catching up to do! So the next thing I wanna know before I leave you alone is…um, does he have a girlfriend?"

"No. But don't be fooled Charlie, there's been other girls; you couldn't have thought there wouldn't be. Hell, I don't think there was even much time from you leaving to his eye wandering…" Two-bit trailed off, his voice had been getting bitter and his speech vindictive, his anger at my leaving was coming through and I knew that he would have hated that. "Let's go hunt some action" he said in a much lighter tone.

As we left the house I started thinking; yes I knew there would have been other girls, if fact I was pretty sure there were girls he saw while he was with me – that never bothered me. But I hadn't thought about how stubborn Dallas Winston could be when he was angry: he could yell, he could get violent, he could get drunk, but when all that was done he was a stubborn mare. What if he didn't want to see me one principal, to piss me off and teach me a lesson. I was starting to think I might still been in love with Dal, though I'd been convinced I'd talked myself out of that.

"Where's Dally gonna be do you reckon?" I enquired.

"Oh who knows, Doll? He's always on the move. Best thing is to just wait until you run into him, easier than chasing a moving target." I saw Two-bit's logic but couldn't help think it was his laziness that brought him to this conclusion.

We were unknowingly heading to the Dairy Queen when a car pulled up beside us. Before I could even register who was driving a small frame pounced upon me from the back, "Charlotte! Welcome home, Hon! Long time no see – you deserted me, bitch!"

Though I didn't get to see her face I knew the arms clinging to me were those of my best friend, Angel Shepard. I pushed her back to get a good look at her; she was in comparison to me, tiny. She couldn't have been taller than 5'2' and her long black hair took up most of that length. She was a year younger than me but you wouldn't know it from all the make up she wore and the revealing clothes she donned. I smiled at the sight of her, I had missed her terribly while I'd been away and had felt safe enough to call her a few times, never revealing where I was and making her swear she wouldn't tell my brothers I had been in contact.

We chatted aimlessly: she told me she was now married but separated from one of her brother's gang and how that brother, Tim (who had been driving the car) had been stabbed the previous week in a fight. Nothing did change in Tulsa, not even the people.

"Dally's at our house," she informed me as I told her I was looking for him, "he passed out on our couch after a party, Tim'll drive you there if you'd like?"

I looked over to Tim, who I'd always been a little weary of; he shrugged and looked ahead. I took that as a yes.

I told Two-bit I'd be okay on my own and jumped in the passenger seat. We drove in an edgy silence around my old neighbourhood.

"When did ya get back?" Tim asked, though I'm sure he didn't care for the answer.

"Last night, though I've been meaning to for years!" I joked; he didn't laugh. "So how are you? You and Dally still tight?"

"Course we are, neither of us have bailed on each other ever." His tone never changed, his face never changed expression. He angered me, but he was a pretty cool guy.

"What's that supposed to me?" I said, oblivious to the rise in my voice, which was not a good way to talk to Tim.

"Well, you come back here and are gonna mess his head up again. I just don't think that's right, man. Walk away once - fair enough, but come back to pour salt in the wounds? That just ain't fair on a guy, you dig?"

I must have hurt Dallas more than I'd realised if Tim knew of Dally's heartache. "Dig this Shepard, I never meant to hurt nobody and I certainly ain't about to try and hurt nobody again! I came back to see my family, I came _home_."

"Just tread carefully, that's all I'm saying" he yelled.

I think I jumped as he said this; it's not a comforting feeling to be threatened by Tim Shepard.

Luckily we pulled up to his house less than a minute after his outburst. Tim said he wouldn't come in to give us some space; I thanked him for the ride and turned towards the door.

Tim's younger brother, Curly opened the door, "What?" he barked; I didn't think he remembered me, then again maybe he did (he ought to we were in the same grade until he got held back).

"Is Dallas here? I wanna talk to Dally."

Curly paused for a moment, "Charlotte, is that you? Glory you've grown! Yeah he's here. Dallas!" His voice bellowed through the house. "Din't know you were back, man. You should have said - we could've hooked up…"

Curly was cut short by a dominating presence in the room. Dallas Winston stood shirtless in the doorway staring at blankly at me. He was taller and bigger, and had a tattoo covering his left arm. He looked better than I had remembered him.

"Charlie?" his said, his voice giving away no reaction.

"Hey Dal," I smiled, "Long time no see".


	4. Paradise Lost

Dallas stood in the run down room looking like he didn't belong there, and looking at me as though I didn't either. He didn't look at all surprised to see me, he didn't look bothered to see me - he just looked like Dally; blond hair flopping about, fine hairs trailing down his newly toned abs, a strong, kissable jaw. He didn't speak and I tensed up; I couldn't tell his mood and when angry he could be dangerous. He slouched into a worn down armchair and stared at me intensely. I cautiously sat on the coffee table six feet opposite him.

"Bet you been wondering where I've been, huh Dal?" I said nervously, putting on the smile I knew he loved so much.

"No really: people come, they go. It's no big deal. Had fun?"

No I haven't, I hadn't wanted to go away, I needed to. I had to sort my head out."

"Yeah I can see how that would've taken so long" he snarled.

I ignored his comment, he deserved his time to be irate, besides, and rising to him was never a good idea. And hell, had we have been on better terms I might have even found the remark funny.

"Where you been?" he said, again his voice didn't waver.

"You're part of the world: New York."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Brooklyn. It's a cool place."

"Yeah it is, I miss New York, I could have gone with you." He gave me a weak smile, my heart melted.

"Well I din't know I'd end up there, and no you couldn't have come, baby. Even if I'd have thought to take you with me, which I'm sure would have helped me along the way – it was pretty rough – I needed to be by myself, I had to escape Tulsa."

He breathed deeply and I watched his chest rise and fall. He lit the cigarette he had been storing behind his ear and I took one from my pack; I always have to light up when other people do, I think that's why I end up smoking so many. We smoked in awkward silence, each of us staring around the room, and occasionally at each other. Every time our eyes met I smiled, and though he didn't return the grin I could tell he liked it.

"Your brothers know you're back?"

"Yeah, I got back last night. I think they're glad to see me. Are you?" I asked cautiously.

"Well I ain't bothered none, Doll. Makes no difference to me." His voice was cold as though he was talking to a stranger he disliked.

I looked down, hurt - I hated that he never gave anything away. But maybe there wasn't anything to reveal, maybe he didn't care if I was here or not, maybe he didn't care when I went away, Two-bit and Darry must have been wrong, or trying to spare my feelings; after all this was Dallas Winston, he didn't care about anything. Had he ever cared about me?

"How long you back for?"

"Haven't decided, I only thought about coming back, not what'd happen afterwards."

Dallas stood up and grabbed a tee shirt off the radiator, I watched him put it on, I loved the way his body moved.

"Never did think about the consequences, did you Charlie? Maybe if you did none of this would have happened, everything would still be…"

I cut him off my lunging at him, I aimed my nails at his face but he grabbed my wrists to hold me back. So I kicked, frantically; aiming at nothing but aiming to inflict pain. I knew what he had been getting at and it was disgraceful to use that. I struggled to break free but his hold was too firm, I was defeated. I sobbed into his chest and his arms went from my wrists to around my back, his grip as firm as ever. I threw my arms around his neck as I bawled uncontrollably. My knees buckled and I put all my weight on Dally; he carried it but sank into the chair he had been sitting in. He lifted my legs over his lap and stroked them slowly.

"Baby I'm sorry, I didn't mean it; no one thinks that, it's not true, you know it!"

When I stopped crying we sat in silence, it was overwhelming being in the arms of Dallas again. I was shocked at what he had insinuated, but it wasn't unexpected for Dallas to get vicious.

He was referring to the incident that happened four years ago; I had gone out with a man I thought to be my friend, on a platonic date much to the aggravation of Dally, the rest of the gang and my parents. No one seemed to trust Andy, a Brumley boy, but my stubbornness made me keep the outing. It turns out that everyone had been right; Andy made a pass at me and got very violent when I did not reciprocate. He beat me and drove me further out into the country. When we stopped I ran, grabbed a payphone and called my dad, he and my mum began a chase across Tulsa. In his worried state my dad had been speeding, he crashed the car and it fell down a hill onto the railway tracks; a train hit them, they died almost instantly. It was my fault my parents died: I trusted a man they told me not to, I put myself in danger, I called my dad when I should have called the police. My actions were the reason my parents were dead. I was the reason my brothers didn't have a mother or father anymore. It was the guilt that had driven me away from Tulsa and I couldn't believe Dallas has just confirmed my suspicions: that everyone did blame me for what happened. My mind wandered to not going home, I really had caused them so much pain. I decided against it, they had seemed happy to have me back yesterday; they must have forgiven me, even if I could never forgive myself.

I lifted my head off Dally's shoulder and looked into his eyes: they were complex, but welcoming. Dally stroked my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss (now that was a better home coming!) His lips were warm and familiar and at the same time exciting and new. His tongue opened my mouth and massaged my own causing all kinds of sensations throughout my body. I pushed myself up against him and put my hand up his newly donned shirt; I had never known his physique like this and I loved it: his muscles were blanketed in his soft skin that I caressed fondly. Dallas returned the gesture by drawing his hand up the back of my tee shirt; I shuddered at his touch, I had not been touch to this effect in a long while. I pulled away to look at Dallas. He wasn't classically handsome but boy, he was good looking; I think it's because he has so much character in his face. He smiled at me; it was a smiled I had yearned after for years.

"Why should I let you back in after all this time?" he questioned earnestly.

I thought about it, "Because I never meant to hurt you and I never will again. Dal, I never came back here with the intention to get back together with you; I didn't think you'd want to so I convinced myself I wasn't in love with you. But we can't live in denial; this is meant to be, baby."

Dallas wriggled out from under me and stood awkwardly. "No."

"No what?" I said, perplexed.

"Look, fair enough you're back – that's great, you're brothers must be psyched. But from now on you and me are just friends, you dig?"

I couldn't believe what he was saying, I was so sure he had wanted to get back together with me, that kiss had said it all!

"But…"

"I'm over you, Charlotte," he said tiredly, "I don't love you anymore."

I sat dumbfounded. When I came back I thought Dally might not want to get back together with me, but I was sure he'd still be in love with me. Dallas didn't love anyone or anything as far as the rest of Tulsa were concerned, but I knew differently: Dallas Winston loved me.

As a final kick in the teeth he added, "I never did."

In one swift movement Dallas put on his shoes and left. I was sat alone in Angel's living room totally confused as to what had gone on. Maybe Dally didn't love me after all. I thought I was going to be sick.


	5. Tit for tat

The next few days were surreal, I was slowly settling in back home, ever aware of the empty void left by my parents absence but pleased to see how well adjusted the family was. The boys were more like relatives than ever, whether it was due to my parents' death or the gang maturing I couldn't tell, either way it was nice to see. At times I sensed that Darry didn't trust me, that Soda was still angry and that Ponyboy was sure I'd walk out again at any moment, but I was fine with that was I knew it would take a while to regain their trust. It was nice having Johnny live with us; he seemed so much happier than when I had left and I put it down to him no longer being abused by his parents.

I was like a house guest in the sense that I was being waited on constantly and the boys were on their best behaviour; after I had told them chocolate cake was not a nutritious breakfast there were cereals, bacon, eggs and toast on the table everyday when I woke up; the washing up was always done and wet towels were never left on the bathroom floor. It was sweet; I wondered how long it would last.

It was obvious all the boys had missed me from their hugs and smiles, even Dally showed he missed me, not with hugs but by being friendly. Although I'd catch him glancing at me from time to time he didn't seem to feel the awkwardness I was experiencing: he spoke to me causally about New York – the places I'd gone, the people I knew; what he had been up to, and he went to great lengths telling me about the tattoo that covered the whole of his left arm. He had got it done to cover the scars sustained when saving Johnny from the fire. He even took me to the Dairy Queen to buy me the chocolate fudge cake I loved so much. I thought this showed signs that he hadn't meant what he said, and that he did still love me, I flirted subtly but he never responded.

It was Dally who told me about Curly Shepard's birthday party but he didn't invite me, Angel did. Dallas seemed annoyed when I told him I was going to the party, though he didn't say anything. Angel said that so many people would be glad to see me back it would drive Dallas made with jealously. I hoped she was right.

With this in mind I put great thought into my outfit; I wore my red off-the-shoulder top and a short denim skirt I have rediscovered in my wardrobe (I was relieved I could still fit into it!) I wore sandals and did smoky make up.

I sat down to dinner greet by wolf whistles from Steve, "Lordy do you scrub up well, Charlie! You sure have grown up!"

Darry gave him a look only a big brother could administer, "Don't you go getting any ideas, Steve! She's as much your sister as she is ours!"

Steve knew Darry was only joking so his next remark was unjust, "Yeah well if it was okay for Dally to go there then…"

"Steve!" I yelled, embarrassed by the insinuations and hurting due to how mine and Dally's relationship was. I knew he too was only joking but he always took things too far; Tulsa doesn't change much.

"Yeah, watch your mouth, Stevo." Soda said light heartedly not wanting to overstress the situation. He gave me a soft smile of understanding, Sodapop always dug things well.

Angel came by after work to pick me up and we arrived before the party had really started.

The Shepard outfit and Dallas were already drinking. Dallas said 'hi' and smiled but made it clear he did not want to start a conversation with me, and when Tim saw me he turned to Dallas and said loud enough for me to hear, "So are you gonna hook up with Marie tonight, buddy?"

Dallas gave a wolfish grin and laughed, "Well if a girl's gonna throw herself at me who am I to complain!" He didn't look at me after he said that and I couldn't conclude what that meant: was he not looking at me because he was trying to play it cool or because he felt sorry for me as he knew I wasn't over him?

Angel dragged me into her room where she began to change. I didn't understand why Tim hated me so much to want to upset me like that. "They're just being idiots!" Angel decided as she applied too much blusher. "Unless, when Dallas said he wouldn't complain he was trying to make you make a move on him?"

I doubted it; I think he wanted to piss me off.

The party really got going as I finished my seventh drink. The whole house was smoky and the music was so loud the walls were vibrating. Angel was nowhere to be found so I wandered around to hunt some action. I began talking to another old friend as I had been doing all night, only this time I had enough alcohol in me to tell her I couldn't be bothered to tell her where I'd been so she should quit bothering me. I was drunk.

I headed into the kitchen where a poker game was commencing, Dallas had a small blond girl on his lap; she was kissing his neck and giggling in his ear. When he saw me I could have sworn I saw a flash of guilt cross his face, but if I had it had gone too quickly for me to register it. He kissed her passionately and I didn't even try to hide the fact that I was staring at them; I watched his hand caress her hips, her hair and her legs. I watched him get up, declare that he wanted to fold the game and leave to head upstairs.

I saw Tim smirk viciously as I left the room, deflated. I went into Angel's room, scared I might cry in front of people. I had hoped it would be empty but I found Curly rooting around her cupboards.

"What _are_ you doing, Mr Shepard?" I said jokingly.

"Oh, hey Charlie." He said, turning to acknowledge my presence, "I'm looking for vodka, Angel's always got a stash!"

He gave up as I sat on the bed and he joined me. "Having a good birthday?"

"Yeah it's wicked, everybody's wrecked!" he said as he finished a can of beer that had been left on the dresser, "You don't look too happy though. What's up? What can the birthday boy do to cheer you up?"

I smiled weakly, not wanting to tell Curly about all the dramas my life contained regarding Dallas Winston. So I thought of something he could do to cheer me up, "Kiss me?"

"What?" Curly was startled, perhaps girls were never that forward with him, though I doubted it. He was an okay looking guy and many girls would want to be with him just because of his surname; the Shepard's were renowned on the east side of Tulsa.

"You heard me, kiss me."

Curly didn't move so I decided to take action, I wanted to take my mind of Dally, and make him know that it was just fine if he went off with other girls, because I was doing the exact same thing. I straddled Curly as he sat dumbfounded, I began to kiss his neck and nibble his ears, just like that trash had been doing to Dally. My lips found his as I cupped his face. He finally began to respond: his mouth opened allowing my tongue to enter and his hands stroked my back. I finally felt myself relaxing for the first time since I arrived at the party. I dragged him at an angle downward so that we were lying in the correct direction on the bed, with him on top of me. His hands grabbed by breasts roughly and then stopped to take my top off. He discarded of it onto the floor and then his lips replaced his hands.

"Curly," I panted, not entirely sure what I wanted to say next. He sat up and smiled at me, a look of mischief in his eyes. I smiled back, "Go lock the door baby; I don't want us to be interrupted." He obliged and as he walked back towards me he pulled a condom out from his wallet.


	6. Early that Morning

I woke at about four am, thoroughly dehydrated. I wriggled free from Curly's arms which were loosely around my waist and stumbled off the bed realising I must still have been a little soused. I dressed and walked out into the lighted lounge, squinting as my eyes readjusted and scanned the room; two guys were passed out on the couch, Angel was wrapped around on of them.

I went into the kitchen and gulped down a glass of water. I began to pour out another when I heard the door behind me open; Dally walked through it his eyes straining as mine had just done.

"You still here?" he yawned.

"Evidently" I said in a flirty manner, placing my hand on my hip, "Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah it was as cool party".

"That blond," I said, realising my mouth was still dry, "Was that Marie, the girl Tim was talking about?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah." He said shiftily, "She just left".

He took the full glass out of my hand and sat at the table, sipping it slowly. I got another glass of water and joined him. Dally dealt out the cards and we played Black Jack; as we did there were lingering looks flying across the table and when I won the game I gloated. I expected Dallas to tell me to shut up or roll his eyes at me, but he didn't; he gave me a soft genuine smile, it was warm and loving and I'd seen it before, I think I was the only person ever to have seen it, "Listen, darling. Since you came back, I was confused…this whole thing… I din't…"

Dallas was cut off by Curly hurtling through the kitchen door clad only in his jeans, "Ah baby, there you are!" he said drunkenly as he stroked my shoulders, "Thought you'd done a runner on me!" He took a Pepsi from the fridge and sat on the sideboard.

"No, I was just thirsty, Curly" I said, unable to look at either one of them. I was ashamed. I had wanted Dally to know I had moved on but not like this, not with Curly telling him indirectly.

"Good." He concluded. "Had a good party, Dallas?"

Dallas clenched his jaw as he realised what had gone on with me and Curly. He looked at me and I smiled helplessly at him. "Yeah I had a tuff night. And it seems you did too, Shepard!" What a present! Hell, I should know!" he laughed cocking an eyebrow.

Curly chuckled wearily, he must have realised the uncertainty of the situation – he had just slept with Dally's ex-girlfriend and was now in a room with the both of us, and Dallas was cracking jokes. It was wise to be cautious.

"Calm down, Curly." Dally sighed, "I ain't mad; she's anybody's game for all I care! I've had my fun, you're welcome to her!" He got up without making eye contact and left the room.

"Curly, I'm gonna go home." I said dashing into Angel's room to get my shoes.

"Whoa!" Curly followed and put his hands on my shoulders, "Don't go getting upset, yeah? Ignore Dally, you ain't each other's problem anymore. You okay?"

"I just don't like to be made to feel cheap" Curly tried to interrupt as I realised how that could be interpreted, "I din't mean you, Curly! I meant Dallas; _he_ made me feel cheap…you were nothing but a gentleman." I said, surprised at the truth in my words; it had only been a one night kind of thing, but Curly had treated me decently, like I deserved respect.

He kissed me forehead softly, again this surprised me; I thought he might want to make out as a way of saying goodbye. It seems Shepard was full of the unexpected. "Thanks for the great night, darling. Want me to drive you home?"

I turned down his offer knowing he was still drunk: I'd never ever get in a car with a drunk driver. I left and was greeted by a deathly chill made worse by the ferocious wind that howled through the streets. I cursed myself for not asking Curly to lend me a jumper.

The streets were deserted but I could still hear the sound of traffic in the distance, I always wondered who drove around at that time of night; I was about to find out.

It was a 30 minute walked from the Shepard house to mine and I was nearing the halfway mark when I heard a car behind me. I tensed up praying it would just drive by but it didn't; it slowed beside me and from the corner of my eye I could see it was a dark coloured Mustang. "Oh Lordy" I breathed quietly; I was about to get jumped by Socs – Tulsa doesn't change much.

"Hey, check out the greasy stop out!" a deep voice chimed. It was met by the sniggers of at least three other guys. I could have kicked myself for not carrying a blade, in New York I would never have been without one; it was foolish to think of Tulsa as tame in comparison. I carried on walking, hurriedly. "Aw, don't feel like talking, baby?"

"No." I decided to break my silence hoping it would make me seem less scared.

The car stopped and as five socs started to climb out I broke into a sprint trying to put some distance between myself and the rich kids. I realised I'd failed as I felt a hand land on my shoulder and haul me backwards. I lost my balance and fell to the ground, hitting my head hard. As I tried to regain focus I felt a foot impale my ribs, I groaned as this action was repeated again and again, and by more feet. The pain ceased and I foolishly believed my ordeal was over but then I felt several hands grab both of my wrists to prevent me from using them. One of the guys straddled me and that was when I realised what they could have been intending to do; I started shrieking and wailing and was rewarded with a punch in the mouth. The soc yanked me up by my top, punched me once again and then threw me back down. I was very aware of the sound my skull made as it bounced off the concrete. I was confused as to why my hair at the back of my head felt wet and then the excruciating pain subsided as I sunk into blackness.

I woke to a soothing voice calling my name. Before my eyes opened and before I recognised the voice I knew the person was Dallas Winston, I knew his smell: it was strong and manly. As I focused my eyes I registered panic in his, "Am I dying, Dal?" I had concluded I must be for him to give a damn.

"Not on my watch, doll" he sighed in a relieved tone.

"Or on mine" said an older voice I could not identify. I tried to turn but couldn't move my head, "We've put a neck brace on you as a precaution, you had a hair line fracture in your skull but it was bleeding quite badly. We've managed to clean it up though and you should be just fine. You were attacked, Miss Curtis."

"I know – I was there." I said coldly; greasers didn't trust people they don't know.

"And now you're in hospital," the doctor informed me, with a little less warmth, "We're keeping you in for observation."

Though I couldn't see anywhere but straight ahead of me I presumed the doctor had left because Dallas started talking about the attack; he wouldn't have done that in front of an authority figure; he doesn't trust them. "Hon, I was so worried! First I panicked when Curly told me you were walking home on your lonesome, then when I heard you scream my stomach nearly flipped, and when I saw them beating you and you lying there unconscious….darling, I was gonna kill them. They ran away pretty quickly, even when it's five against one they know they're no match for me!" Dally paused and coughed loudly, I was sure I heard a sob masked underneath it, "God, when I think of what they could have done to you, baby… how you feeling, Charlotte?"

"Sore, my head's killing." I groaned realising it was difficult to move my mouth.

"Yeah you're gonna look pretty bruised tomorrow. You're lucky they didn't shatter you're jaw. I haven't told your brothers yet. They thought you were staying out all night and since it was live or death I thought it was stupid to get them up now and worry them, they can do that later." I agreed with his logic. "So why the hell were you walking home on your own at that hour, Charlie?"

I was silent as my anger rose: it was _his_ fault I had left! "You embarrassed me, Dal," I said through gritted teeth trying to sound like I didn't care. "You were trying to hurt me, I wasn't gonna stand for that!"

Dally didn't say anything for a while and had sat back so I couldn't see his face. I could hear his breathing: slow and deep and I wondered if he was feeling guilty. "How'd you expect me to behave, Charlotte? I'm still drunk and find out you and Shepard have been…"

"So!" I yelled, realising it was quite painful to do, "So what! I can do what I want with who I want because you don't care anymore…oh no, in fact you never did, did you! You made that clear so you don't have the right to an opinion and you don't have the right to make me feel like dirt!"

"So this is my fault?" he asked quietly. I didn't answer; I didn't know how to answer. "I'll tell you're brothers what happened, they'll be here soon enough." He said in the same hushed voice. And then he left, leaving me with a feeling of guilt, and I didn't know why.


	7. In Every Sense

When I woke the next day the room seemed busy; Ponyboy, Darry, Sodapop and Steve were around the bed.

"Hey sweetie" Sodapop cooed, "How you feeling?"

"A little better." My head now only felt like a slight migraine and my jaw was still aching but no longer stiff: my ribs felt quite tight though. "When am I allowed home? I don't like hospitals."

"Tomorrow, hon, tomorrow. They just wanna keep an eye on you – make sure your head's sewn up properly!" Soda chuckled. I knew I was going to be fine because otherwise Soda would be behaving in a more sombre manner.

"I want to know what happened" Darry said sternly. I wondered if he was mad at me, then I wondered how much about that night Dally had told them.

"What's there to tell? I left Angel's house and got jumped by five socs. Simple."

"No, not 'simple', Charlotte. You're being vague and Dally was being shifty, there's more to this, I can tell." Darry seemed impatient.

"Darry, don't hassle her now, she looks tired" Ponyboy said trying to keep the peace; he must have thought I would leave if bothered.

"Where's my hero?" I said after searching the room and finding Dally absent.

"He might come by later." Soda said in a soft voice.

"Might?" Dallas must really be angry at me. It wasn't his fault, how could it be his fault that I was jumped by socs; just because you're angry at someone doesn't mean you can blame them for things beyond their power. And besides, he _saved_ me, who knows what would have happened had he not have come along. I was grateful to him; I wanted to thank him.

It was strange how I was missing my bed having only been back in it for a week, but I was. I wanted to be back with my pillows, blanket and big teddy that I hugged at night; I wanted to be at home.

"Where's Johnny?"

"Oh he's here, he's in physiotherapy; he'll come by and see you later." Steve informed me.

"Yeah, we were only dropping him off here otherwise we wouldn't have bothered coming to see you!" Soda said cocking an eyebrow; even when Two-bit isn't in a room his presence can always be felt.

Johnny eventually came by to see me and then the boys left to get to work and college, leaving me by myself. I was glad; I needed some 'me time' to think things over. When I wasn't thinking I was sleeping and when I was thinking I had doctors prodding me and running tests on me, it was thoroughly annoying. I'd never liked hospitals much, not since I was a kid and had my tonsils taken out; Sodapop had told me that the doctor's would take away an arm or a leg for their dinner, and as a six year old I believed him. Now I was pretty sure that a doctor was not about to amputate my limbs but I was still spooked. The clinical-ness of it all was horrid, how a person was supposed to recover in places like that was beyond me. I kept reliving the events of the night before, not just the beating: my night with Curly, seeing Dallas with that girl, hearing all the horrible things he had to say and trying to work out what he meant to say, before Curly had interrupted. _"Listen, darling. Since you came back, I was confused…this whole thing… I din't…"_ Those were his words, I remembered them clearly, but what would have been at the end of that sentence!

I thought about it constantly, even the next day when Ponyboy came to take me home. Before we left Ponyboy was telling me what all the machines surrounding me did but I was only half listening; I don't think I would have understood it all had I been paying attention. When I got home the boys had laid out a feast at the table and gosh I was hungry! We filled our plates and sat around the television to watch a football match. The boys were going mental at the screen and I was being shoved all over the country with no consideration for my beaten state; I couldn't have been happier.

"Sorry for not visiting you in hospital, hon. I was too hung over! Are you mad at me?" Two-bit grovelled.

"Of course I'm not! I wasn't like I was dying!"

"Well I'll make sure whoever did this to you dies!" Two-bit stated dramatically.

I was about to respond when Dallas walked through the door, "Hey."

I turned and smiled at him, "Hey you, where've you been? I've been wanting to see you!"

"Why?" Dally said unconcernedly.

I huffed, hoping he wouldn't be in one of his moods. "Come up stairs with me" I pleaded as I held out a hand hoping he would help me up. He did so and we headed up the stairs, "Oh Darry! Don't look at me like that, it's innocent!" I said as I saw his expression; it read 'not in my house!'

We got to my room and I sat at the head of the bed, Dallas threw himself on the end of it. "It wasn't your fault, Dal, how could it have been?" I said smiling at him.

Dally was silent for a while, he looked like a lost little boy at that moment, and I don't think there were many times you could describe Dallas Winston as such. "So you don't blame me?"

"You rescued me, Dal. Why would it be your fault? Yes I was angry at you but it wasn't you who jumped me and it wasn't you that put me in that danger- I did. I want to thank you, baby." Dally raised his eyebrows out of surprise. "And I wanted to know… what were you gonna say in the kitchen before Curly walked in, you know, about me coming back?"

Dally looked at me, startled. "Huh? Um, I dunno baby. I can't remember, it can't have been anything important."

"Oh right, it's just that it kind of sounded like it was important, you said that you were confused about it all, and then we got interrupted." I realised I was fiddling with my hands a lot; I wondered if he could tell how nervous I was.

"Well it would have been just that: that I was confused about things" he said in a relaxed tone.

"Oh." I whispered sadly, wondering how honest I should be with him; I decided to be frank, "I thought maybe you were gonna say you'd thought about it and you'd like us to get back together; we'd been getting on so well…but then that was a stupid idea, I mean, had you have wanted us to get back together you wouldn't have slept with that Marie girl, would you?" I only realised the truth in this once I'd said it.

"Yeah but you slept with Curly. You wouldn't have done that if you thought we would get back together. That really shocked me you know, baby. I din't really think you were like that."

"I did that to get back at you!" I cried, immediately annoyed that I'd told him that.

His face fell. "Really, Charlotte? You slept with a guy to get back at me?" I started weeping, it sounded so vulgar. I nodded. "Oh baby, you silly girl!" he said moving across the bed and taking me in his arms.

I pushed him away, "It's not as bad as it sounds, I don't regret it; Curly was real sweet. But yes, the initial reason I had sex with him was because you were all over that Marie and I couldn't stand it."

Dallas sighed, "I only did that because I'm still so angry about you leaving me; I wanted to hurt you…I'm so sorry!"

I looked at him through my tears then I leant in to kiss him. It was a simple, innocent kiss, but it was nice. "Do you love me, Dal?" I asked, praying his answer would be different to the last time he'd told me.

He looked at me and slowly a smile formed across his face, "Like crazy, Charlotte Curtis, like crazy." He kissed me hard and deep and I kissed him right back. After a week of being back in Tulsa I had finally returned home.


	8. In the Dark of Night

Dallas and I spent hours in my room talking and fooling around, catching up on what we'd missed out on. The gang didn't disturb us, probably because their minds were concluding all sorts that we were up to! I was grateful they had granted us privacy; it was a lot different to four years ago when they would constantly try to catch us out, I guess people change over time.

At 11pm we went downstairs hand-in-hand, "Alright!" Steve whooped, being the first to notice.

"Is this a good thing?" Darry asked. I could tell what he was thinking; I thought I was too good for Dally. He wasn't being snobbish and it wasn't that he didn't like Dally but I was his little sister and he had always wanted the best for me; he did not consider the best to be a hoodlum.

"It's a very good thing!" Dally beamed, squeezing tighter on my hand.

We all sat around until the early hours just like every other Friday night I remembered spending with the gang. I started to think I was taking it for granted being at home; the surrealism had gone and the rooms seemed as they used to. The only time I felt a surge of guilt, pain and disorientation was when I looked towards my parents' bedroom, the thought of going inside that room was suffocating and I knew I would eventually have to face my demons. 'Not yet' I thought to myself.

Darry let Dally spend the night in my room, which I thought was very nice of him considering how protective he could be. I wore panties and a tee shirt to bed and suddenly felt nervous, "Dal, tonight…do you mind if we don't…it's just, it'd feel a little sordid after Curly…can we just leave it awhile?"

Dally stroked my hair, "We can wait as long as you want sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere."

Wow, Dallas never used to be so patient and understanding. Tulsa might not change; but people do.

"I'm so angry I got jumped by those socs, Dal! I've only been back a week and it seems nothing's changed at all." I moaned as a snuggled up next to his bare torso.

"We'll sort them out, baby; don't you worry. Me and the boys will hunt them down and when we do they'll be sorry they ever messed with my baby."

I had always hated violence but it was nice to know I was well protected. I always used to moan about Dallas being too possessive, but I'd rather he be that way than not care at all. "So has nothing changed between us and the socs?"

"Oh, it's changed a bit. Not everyone cares about it anymore, I mean Pony goes to college with enough socs, but he knows that only Sodapop and Darry will be nice to them if he brought them here. Me, I'm never gonna change my ways, they're scum! The lot of them!"

I smiled sadly, I hated ignorance; even of it was from the man I loved. I decided to change the subject. "How much of that night did you tell the guys?"

"Just that you left and when I found out you left I followed, and then I saw the socs beating you and scared them off. Darry was getting really mad that I wouldn't tell him more; he reckoned I was holding out, said he didn't think you'd leave at such a stupid hour without me or somebody walking you home. Truth is I didn't want to tell him I thought it was my fault and I didn't want our stories to clash if we told him different things because I know you think people don't trust you since you came back but they do, we all do."

"Thanks for not telling them about Curly. I don't want them to think that I'm a slut."

"You're not." Dally said seriously. "I'm sorry I was such an ass when you got back; I was just so shocked and angry. It's gonna be great us being back together. I just feel so bad that you did that because of how I made you feel. I'm gonna have to get use to you being back; you give me a conscience, I haven't had one of those for a long time!"

I was thinking that I'd never heard Dally apologise so much and thought he must really love me. I stared down at his finger, he was wearing his ring. I used to wear it but left it alongside the note when I left home, I didn't think it was fair for me to keep it. I loved that ring. "Want it back?" Dally questioned, grinning form ear to ear.

"Can I?" I near squealed. Dally carelessly took the ring off his own finger but softly placed it on mine, "Right back where it belongs" he said before kissing me. I couldn't believe how great things had turned out.

Dallas fell asleep before I did, I was happy just to lie in his arms. I finally did drift of to sleep but woke before sunrise. I pulled away from Dally, put some pyjama bottoms on and went to the bathroom. On the way back I paused, four feet away from me was mum and dad's room. I crept up to it, my breath getting shallower by the second. I ran my over the door knob, it was cold to the touch and a shiver ran down my spine. I opened the door and peered in, the moonlight shot eerily through the window, spotlighting the centre of the room. I walked in; it smelt musty, the boys obviously didn't like to spend too much time in here either. I sat on the bed and looked around, it was different; my dad's jeans were no longer thrown across the chair, my mum's make up wasn't sprawled across the dressing table. I crawled up the bed and lay on my mum's pillow; I sunk my head into it and breathed deep, smelling her. It was only a faint smell, worn away over time. I tried to restrain myself but I let out a loud sob that echo through the empty room. From that I couldn't stop, I wailed and howled, hugging my mum's pillow manically. Soda came rushing in and landed upon me, his arms wrapping around me.

"Baby, it's ok, sssh." He soothed as he stroked my hair. "Just calm down, darlin', please!"

"I miss them so much, Soda!" I cried uncontrollably, "And I don't get how you can stand to look at me knowing this is my fault!"

"Hey!" Darry yelled startling me; I didn't know he was there. "Charlotte it is _not_ your fault you can't think that!"

After a while I began to stop crying and Soda's hold on me loosened. "It's not your fault, hon" he said quietly, as though he was trying to calm a spooked horse. "It was an accident, a horrible accident. None of us blame you and you mustn't blame yourself."

Sodapop positioned himself at the head of the bed and I curled up next to him. I looked up to see Darry, Dally and Ponyboy staring at me. "Me and Charlie are gonna sleep in here" Soda said, giving nobody a say in the situation. They all left, leaving the door ajar. We got under the cover and cuddled like we did when we were younger. "We all thought you wouldn't have properly come to terms with it all. So tomorrow we'll go to visit their grave, it's time you came to terms with what happened."


	9. Final Resting Place

I woke up late in the morning; Sodapop was no longer in bed next to me. I lay still for a minutes, too lethargic to move. I felt an overwhelming calm lying in my parents room, I'd faced my demons and could relax a little; but the worst was far from over if Soda was still insisting on taking me to our parents' grave today. The house seemed very quiet, which suited me just fine; it was eerie but matched my emotions completely.

I turned as someone knocked on the open door; it was Dally. "Hey Charlotte baby, how you feeling this morning?" He perched at the end of the bed.

"Hmm, I dunno. A bit better, but kind of worse." I shrugged.

He moved up the bed and kissed me on the cheek before sitting next to me, his arm around me. He began stroking my shoulder soothingly. Dallas never used to be this sweet and I treasured it. "Sodapop's taken the day off work to take you to the cemetery. Darry can't get off work and Ponyboy said he'll go with you if you want him to; he never goes there with a lot of people, he prefers to go alone, see. Do you want me to come with you, hon?"

"No, it's okay, Dal. Soda will do just fine, I think I'll want some time on my own as well… though I still don't know if I'm gonna go. I don't think I'm ready."

"Soda's not giving you a choice in the matter, darling. He says he knows it'll be hard for you but it's something you're gonna have to do. I happen to agree with him." This made me think I should go as I valued Dally's opinion more than anyone's.

I went to take a shower before breakfast and heard the sound of Two-bit and Steve entering the house; they couldn't be quiet if their lives depended on it. I stayed in the shower longer than usual though I didn't really notice; time was moving quite slowly. I dressed and towel dried my hair, roughly putting it into a ponytail. As I went downstairs the room fell silent, "Sorry for waking y'all up last night" I mumbled as I threw myself onto the couch.

"Not a problem, darling." Soda smiled. "How did you find sleeping in their bedroom, baby?"

"Good, I think it helped me actually, so thanks. Did you not stay all night?"

"Oh I did hon, but I got up to call in sick at work. It was a bit weird being in there again, but nice."

"Speaking of work, I better head off." Steve yawned. "I hope today goes ok for you, Charlie" he said, kissing my forehead.

Steve left taking Two-bit and Dallas with them, the latter promised me he'd come round tonight and take me out if I felt like it. I didn't think I could stomach breakfast so I skipped it, promising I'd eat something later.

Ponyboy was obviously forcing himself to go to the cemetery so I told him not to come; Soda would be able to take care of me just fine. He looked relieved and thanked me. "It's not that I don't go and visit, I do more than anyone, but I always go alone. I like to talk to them, you dig?" I got what he meant, it was what I expected from Ponyboy, he was always in a little world of his own and I could just imagine the hours he spent by their side. He didn't have to convince me of his love for our parents; that boy has a heart of gold.

It was early afternoon when Soda started up the car to take us to the cemetery; he stopped off at Darry's work and Darry gave us some flowers to take with us; the boys really were thoughtful, I thought.

We pulled up to the desolate graveyard; it was one of those typically spooky ones with a creaking gate and wind swept willow trees. Sodapop was the absolute fear in my face, "I'm with you all the way, sweetheart. Don't you worry." I shivered as we began to walk hand-in-hand through the headstones. "There." Soda said simply pointing to two simple graves situated closely together. "Shall I wait here or do you want me with you?"

I took a deep breath. "I've got to do this on my own, Sodapop" I whispered as I walked towards the wooden crucifixes were simple headstones; our family couldn't afford anything fancy, but then we didn't need extravagant gestures to show our love, the proof was in our relationships. I read the brass panels, I had been there when Darry had decided what to write on them but I'd forgotten, or maybe I'd blocked it out because usually I have a brilliant memory. '_A proud father to his three boys and baby girl. Taken too young, but lived a full life_' my father's read, he always said he didn't want an everyday message. I sobbed hard, his baby girl; that's what he used to call me, every time he tried to rally us up to drive us to school he would always yell, 'Come on boys, and where's my little girl?' Lordy, I missed him. I turned to my mother's and began to howl uncontrollably, four years of pain and guilt came flooding out, I collapsed on the floor, unable to stand anymore. "I'm sorry!" I screamed, oblivious to what I must have looked like. "I'm so sorry, it's my fault and I will never forgive myself!" If I could trade places with them I would, my brothers would benefit more from having them around as opposed to me. As I thought this I realised just how wrong it was of me to have gone away, they had lost their parents and I abandoned them on top of that; I'm surprised they coped, but we're a strong family. I knew then I would never leave my brothers again. Tulsa was my home and always would be. "I miss you so much" I wailed quietly and then I mouthed 'I love you' as I could no longer find words. I missed them both so much I thought the pain might kill me. I missed my dad's humour and the security he brought to the family, his laugh, the way he looked at my mum: it was the way I always hoped a man would someday look at me. I missed his intelligence and the warm presence he bought to a room. I missed the relationship a girl has with her mother; it was a deep bond, especially as I was her only daughter in a family full of men. I missed her wisdom about life, her caring eyes, and her soft giggle. I missed her cooking, the attention to detail she put into everything. I missed the way she'd massage my father's feet when he got home from work. She was a housewife but was never taken for granted. My mother was wonderful.

I struggled to breathe as the tears overtook my body; I began to wheeze as Sodapop marched over and began to rub my back slowly, trying to bring back a normal breathing pattern. He sat talking to me in a low voice and I slowly began to calm. When I had regained a degree of composure I looked to Soda, tears were streaming down his face. He had placed the flowers in the middle of both the crosses without me noticing; he looked towards each of them and said 'hey' to his parents.

We spent another forty or so minutes in the cemetery; remembering happy times, talking to our parents and to each other. When we stood up to leave I truly believed none of my brothers blamed me for my parents' death, that my parents wouldn't have ever thought it and that it was wrong for me to live my life thinking ii was to blame. Soda began walking back to the car, I turned to take one last look at my parents' final resting place, I said goodbye to my dad and goodbye to my mum, in more ways than one; I had finally let go. As I got in the car I thought of what was written on my mum's headstone and realised just how right on the mark it was about her: _Simply the best._


	10. A girl and a guy

We got back home to find Ponyboy cooking pasta. "How did it go, Charlie Brown?" He questioned, being the first person since my return to use my dad's nickname for me; it was nice, and it didn't hurt as much as it would have if it had been said a few days before.

"It was good, Pony. Well, I wouldn't say it was good exactly, but you know, it went as well as can be expected. It's definitely helped, like you wouldn't believe." It really had, I felt lighter and free; I was pretty sure my parents were smiling down on us at that moment, absolutely contented by the reformation of our family.

"I'm so pleased, hon." He smiled, "Now go sit down, you look beat. Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes."

I slung myself onto the couch, exhausted; crying really does take it out of me. Two-bit was watching the television, one of those game shows where the contestants shriek at every sentence; it was grating on me. "Turn it over Two-be?" I whined. He obliged and cartoons appeared on screen; this was more Two-bit's thing anyway.

"You okay, sugar?" He looked at me worriedly. Two-bit and I had always been close before I'd left, we both entertained the gang by clowning around and it had connected us. He was never very good at serious conversations but it was always obvious he cared.

"Yeah, I guess. A bit down, but I am gonna be okay, this is the starting point of me moving on."

"Moving on but staying _here_, right?" Two-bit asked, cocking an eyebrow.

I giggled, "Yeah, I ain't going anywhere anytime soon!"

Dinner was nice, it was sombre as I spoke about what happened but I felt real close to everyone at the table at that time. At about seven thirty Dally strolled through the door. He was wearing ripped jeans and a murky green tee shirt; he looked hot! "How'd it go, sweetie?" He whispered into my ear as he sprinkled little kisses on my neck; it was driving me wild.

"It was okay. I feel a lot better. How's your day been?"

"Average: hung out with Shepard, messed about. Missed my baby though" he grinned.

The night panned out how it always did: the gang watching TV, playing poker and play fighting. Darry went to bed before the rest of us and didn't say Dallas could stay over, so I figured he was allowed; Darry would have made it crystal clear if he didn't want Dallas to stay for the night.

Dally and I were lying in bed talking, about everything: my parents, the time I spent away, what we could do the next day. I loved talking to him; I had missed him so much while I was away I couldn't believe this was now my reality; I was so lucky.

"You really are beautiful, you know that?" He said looking deep into my eyes.

I smiled and let out a little giggle; I really loved him. I leant over and kissed him, he kissed me right back, tenderly. The embrace became heated pretty quickly as Dally moved on top of me; I ran my hands up his sides softly, he exhaled a breathy laugh, he's quite ticklish. My hands found the hem of his tee shirt and I pulled it up and off, revealing his toned abs. I ran my hands along his smooth shoulders as I felt his erection pushing against me. Dallas cupped my boobs, soft at first but getting rougher by the second; the good kind of rough, his hands found the buttons on my shirt and he undid each one, exposing my bra. His hands on my skins were unbearably pleasurable, it was shocking the power this man held over me at that time; I yearned for him. I began to tug at his belt buckle, willing it to come undone without me having to stop kissing Dallas, it did and I set to work unzipping his jeans. He pulled away from me and gazed into my eyes. I smiled at him: it was a smile that said that I loved him, that I knew he loved me, and I wanted to be a close as I possibly could be to him. We had a really great night.


	11. Tabitha

Christmas was a great reason to reunite fully with the gang, I loved the season and enveloped myself in its festivities; everyone seemed happier and excited. We put decorations up earlier than our parents would usually, giving in to our childlike urges. It made the house come alive, the colours, the smells, the love, it was as close to perfect as it could get.

Wanting to make Christmas as special as possible I decided to get a job to fund some more extravagant purchases, or at the very least it would mean Darry could work less hours, enabling him to spend more time with us. I got a job at a bar a couple of miles away; it wasn't the best of establishments, though I didn't expect it to be since they knowingly employed me underage. Darry wasn't too pleased with me working in what he dubbed 'a seedy dead end' but after some of the places I'd worked for in recent years I wasn't at all worried.

Dallas and Two-Bit accompanied me to my first shift, sitting at the bar drinking beer and smoking.

It was easy work to serve drunken old men, the only downside being the leering and sickening comments the customers intended as genuine compliments. Dallas disapproved of the attention I received but I couldn't tell if he was being protective or jealous; I had to keep the customers sweet which involved a bit of flirting, I knew it would be grating on Dally.

As I drove home after the long shift, the boys being too drunk to do so, I saw a mound of something unidentifiable blocking the road. As we further approached I realised it was a slumped body; screeching the car to a halt I got out and started to run towards the person, hollering at the guys to follow me. I fell to my knees and gingerly touched the person's arm: no reaction. Two-Bit took over and turned the person onto their back; my stomach jolted at the sight before my eyes. I'd guess it was a girl though you couldn't really tell due to the swelling of their face.

"Hey…hey!" Two-Bit whispered while shaking the limp figure softly. Nothing happened.

I began to stroke the person's face lightly, "Wake up" I mumbled more to myself than the victim. "Look!' I yelped as I saw two swollen eyes attempt to focus, "You're okay; you've been hit by a car, we're gonna take you to a hospital and you're gonna be fine." I was trying not to scare her; she must have been pretty confused.

"No" a horse female voice managed. She tried to sit up but couldn't, it was clear a few of her ribs were shattered.

I manoeuvred her so that she was leant against my torso in a half sitting position, "Don't worry, we'll just get you to a…"

"No!" she snapped angrily as she hissed at the pain the loud vocals had caused. "Not…going to no…hospital" she insisted through scattered breath.

"I really think you should" Two-Bit reasoned, "the car that hit you has really knocked you for six".

"No!' she repeated frustratingly, "You're… wrong on both…counts. I'm not… going… to any hospital… and I wasn't hit…by no car." She put more of her weight onto me; that small sentence had exhausted her.

"Well what the hell happened then?" Dally probed restlessly, I could tell he just wanted to go home, he was tired; he didn't want to know what had happened out of curiosity, he wanted to know the reasoning for postponing him falling asleep.

"Well I reckon if it weren't no car then it had to be a person… you been jumped?" Two-Bit asked?

"Yeah… yeah I been jumped. Satisfied?"

"Who by?" Dallas demanded.

"What?"

"Who jumped you?" Dally snarled.

"Didn't catch their names" the brunette said squaring up to him vocally. "So are you gonna help me up or not?"

Two-Bit and I lifted her up and aided her into the back seat where he sat with her. Dallas sat in the front looking bored. "Have a heart" I whispered as I nibbled his ear lobe, trying to prevent him from sinking into a bad mood. Not wanting to abandon her or let her leave without having her injuries looked at; I made up a lame excuse that I only had enough gas to get to my house but once we got there one of my brothers would take her anywhere she needed to go. She reluctantly agreed, too tired and aching to protest like she so obviously wanted to.

Two-Bit assisted the moaning female into our house, "Got lucky, Twob?" Steve joked before realising the severity of the situation. He got off the couch allowing Two-Bit to lay her against the arm of it.

"I'll get the first aid kit" Darry said, taking control of the situation.

"That ain't… necessary" the girl whined to no avail.

"Well we can't have you leaving in that state, can we? And you need medical attention; just let my little brother take a look at you, he's a student doc" I said, tiredly: this girl was so argumentative; I'd hate to see her when she had full use of her mouth again!

She nodded and looked up towards the ceiling; I knew what she was doing, I'd done it a million times before, she was trying not to cry, willing the tears to stay away. I decided to ignore it and try to make her feel better; her nervous system must have been an accurate reflection of her beaten outer image. "I'm Charlie, and he's Two-Bit… that there is Steve. My brother Darry has gone to get the first aid kit and Ponyboy is the med student. I dunno where my other brother is".

"He's in bed," Steve informed me, "wanted an early night".

"That's a lot of brothers. I'm Tabitha" she said smiling for the first time since we'd met her.

Ponyboy introduced himself and began examining Tabitha, a 21 year old Texan. He concluded she had shattered at least four ribs, her collar bone, and had sustained spine and muscle damage. He thought she was suffering from whiplash too, and advised her a neck brace would be needed, but again she refused to go to a hospital. Pony bandaged her up, worrying that her hadn't done enough and that she may be suffering long term damage, "At least have something to eat" he bartered and she agreed.

Steve and Two-Bit left and Darry and Ponyboy went to bed, a place Soda and Johnny had been for a good few hours; I knew Sodapop would be devastated to have missed such an eventful night, he hated hearing things second hand!

"So who are you?" Tabitha asked the skulking figure pacing restlessly across the living room.

"Dallas Winston".

"Oh. I've heard of you… you get up to some…pretty interesting things".

"Do I?" Dally replied flatly, he really must have been tired as usually he would have jumped at the chance to discuss his criminal antics. Hell maybe he'd grow out of it, people change.

"Dal, baby go to bed if you want, I'll be up soon" I cooed not wanting him to be rude to Tabitha, even though I was pretty sure she could hold her own.

"Yeah okay" he said planting a kiss on my forehead. He walked off to my bedroom and I turned to Tabitha who looked away from me quickly. I gave her some soup and after lots of protesting she let me help her eat it, it was obvious her body movements were becoming increasing difficult for her as the swelling and bruising settled.

"Look it's late, we're all tired and you could do with a lot of sleep… stay here tonight" I said cautiously, I already feared Tabitha's temper.

"Fine."

"Is the sofa okay? Someone will trade bed with you if…"

"It's… fine" she bit, her voice sounding more irritated.

I gave her a pillow and blanket and turned out the lights. I changed into my pyjamas and snuggled up to Dally who was snoring loudly, I kissed him softly to wake him up.

"Mmm," he moaned, "that's a nice way to be woken up". He turned round and nuzzled his face in my neck, his breath tickling me sensually.

I kissed him on the lips and rested my head on his chest, "I wondered what happened to her" I yawned.

"I'm not too interested," Dally said honestly, "and I'm not so sure she wants us to be either. She'll probably be gone by the morning, I reckon".


	12. Settling In

I woke early to check if Dally's theory was right; and it sort of was, Tabitha was indeed attempting to leave, but I had caught her in time.

'Where you hurrying off to?' I asked as I stretched of my sleep. It was still dark outside; it must have only been about six in the morning.

'I got stuff to do' she said, seemingly unappreciative of all I had done for her the night before. I didn't care, she intrigued me, and I wanted to know more.

'How you feeling today?' I probed, knowing she couldn't be feeling great, she could barely see out of her left eye for the swelling and she was moving extremely gingerly.

'Fine' she snapped whilst trying to put her shoes on, she was obviously in pain.

'You gonna stop by a doctors?' I asked.

'No, like I said, I got stuff to do. So where abouts am I then?' She said looking out the window.

'Five minutes from the DX' I answered, 'you want some breakfast? We serve chocolate cake in this establishment' I laughed wandering into the kitchen.

Soda came running out his bedroom in a panic, 'Shoot, I forgot I was meant to be at work early!' He moaned, grabbing the slice of cake I had just cut. He stopped and eyed up the bruised stranger in his kitchen. 'Aah, and you must be our house guest' he smiled holding out his hand, 'Sodapop Curtis, at your service!'

Tabitha smiled, and I did too, Soda always had that effect on girls! 'Tabi Miles', she cooed, sounding sweet for the first time since I had met her.

'So what's your story?' Soda asked as he cut me and Tabitha slices of cake. We all sat round the table, I was leaning over it, anticipating what she would say, I was curious and I knew Sodapop could get it out of her.

'My ex boyfriend and his friends got a little vicious, they always do when they're drunk' she said trying to hide her sadness. I had already guessed it might be something like that. Soda asked her where she was from and she replied, 'Not too far from here, about half an hours drive. I used to live in Vegas but I never really dug my parents, you know? And they never really got me, but then I met Chuck, that's my ex, and I felt a sense of belonging for the first time. So when he suggested we make a fresh start I jumped at the chance, thought it would be perfect, didn't I? I was wrong. We moved here two years ago, it was great at first; he gave me everything I wanted. But pretty soon after he got really jealous anytime I went out the house alone in case I spoke to guys and stuff, so I stopped going out, wanting to please him. Eventually my life was just our house, I only spoke to Chuck and his friends, and pretty much waited on them hand and foot as they got drunk and stoned every night. Finally I had enough a few weeks back and left him but he didn't take it well, he got more violent than ever and found me in the hotel I was staying at and he took me back to our, well _his_ house and just tormented me. It got really bad last night and him and his friends beat the crap outta me.' She paused and took a deep breath. She was fighting back tears again I could tell. It saddened me how common violence is in our area, I mean, the whole time she was talking I felt bad for her, but I wasn't shocked by it, I'd heard it all before; it was even worse in New York.

She gave a breathy laugh, 'I've been talking for a while haven't I?!' Soda and I both smiled, telling her it didn't matter and that we were listening. She summarised, 'So yeah, now I think we have split but I don't have anywhere to go and don't know anyone else, so I'm probably going to have to go back to him'.

Soda and I looked at each other, knowing it would be fine with the others if we asked her to stay. We didn't have much to offer in terms of a bedroom and other stuff, and our house wasn't the tuffest of places, but we were always willing to help people out that needed it and it never bothered us the state of our place. It was something our parents had instilled in us from an early age. Besides, she was obviously a greaser like us, so she probably didn't mind the state of our house and how we lived.

'You can stay with us,' I offered, reaching my hand onto her arm, 'the couch is yours for as long as you need it'. Soda nodded in agreement.

'I wasn't hinting at that, sorry you must think I'm so rude! I wouldn't want to…'

'Don't be silly!' Soda reasoned. We both looked at her eagerly.

'Well, maybe just for a few days,' she said, 'til I sort myself out'.

'Take all the time you need' Soda said, getting up from the table to get ready for work.

It has been three weeks since Tabi arrived and she was settling in great, it was nice to have another girl in the house and she got our crazy sense of humour so we had loads of fun just hanging out. The guys loved her, she bantered with Two-Bit and Steve, flirted with Soda and chatted with Darry and Johnny, and it was obvious that it was something both of them appreciated. The only person who did not seem to bond with her was Dallas, but I put that down to the fact that he was probably jealous about all the time I was spending with Tabitha.

Christmas came and went and Tabi being with us seemed normal, like she was part of the family. Dallas and Steve had accompanied her to pick up her stuff from her ex boyfriends house and some of her possession decorated the lounge and kitchen, she had really made herself at home. Steve had told us what it was liked at her ex boyfriend's house; he yelled felt sorry for himself and tried to make Tabitha stay and then he got aggressive and Dallas had to intervene. I hated the idea of anyone being horrible to her; she was like a sister to me. Steve had said how Dallas had held her the whole time as they drove back to our house, so I guess even Dally was starting to accept her into the fold, I was glad, thought I shouldn't have been so naive.


End file.
